Samantha's Birth Story

Well, it's been awhile since I've updated this blog and as you can see there have been some changes! Most of them
expected and some unexpected ones as well.

Samantha Joy was born August 21, 2010 at 9:40 AM at Maury Regional Medical Center in Columbia, TN. For
those of you who have been following my pregnancy you
know that giving birth in a hospital was not our original
plan. (There's that thing again about "making plans").

We had planned on giving birth at The Farm Midwifery
Center in Summertown, TN. We checked into the
midwifery center on July 31, one week before the due date. The plan included spending some time at the center, away
from the business of life, and getting mentally and
physically prepared for natural childbirth.


Giving birth outside of a hospital means you are responsible for most, if not all, of your birthing supplies and anything else you would need to set up house for a couple weeks. I had containers for me and containers for the baby. I had prepared a fridge of nutritious food, including raw milk, chicken broth, pastured eggs, yogurt, popsicles and homemade energy bars. Food that was going to help me through labor. Brent helped get me settled in but he had to go back to North Carolina the next day. I was having my friend, Cassie, stay with me until Brent could return the following weekend. Of course he would be coming back if I went into labor and he was nervous about being so far away. Within myself I knew I couldn't go into labor without my husband so I told him to relax, according to what I was feeling this baby would not be coming without him present.


During my first week on the Farm I tried to relax and prepare for birth. Cassie was wonderful and I was so thankful to have her with me. Having given birth herself she knew exactly what I
needed and she helped so much. We went on walks around the acreage and she really helped get
me in the mindset for labor. We also went into Nashville to go shopping, get pedicures and eat at nice restaurants. She wanted to help me relax and enjoy doing things she knew I wouldn't get to do after the baby arrived. It was great to spend that time with someone who had gone through the experience of birth because I was able to pick her brain about my concerns/fears.

I was also blessed to have another girlfriend close by during my first week on The Farm, a girlfriend I had known for ten years and gone through nursing school with at ORU. Mary was at The Farm to take a workshop on midwifery. She, like Cassie, was only there for a week and wanted me to go into labor while she was there! I would have loved to have them both there when I went into labor but that just didn't happen . . . . I never really went into labor.

Brent came back to Tennessee at the start of my second week on The Farm. He was relieved to be there because he wasn't leaving again until the baby arrived. I know he was expecting labor to start any minute now that he was on The Farm. He was confident that we wouldn't have to wait long to meet our child. I, on the other hand, was not so confident.

As the second week dragged on I really started to get anxious. It was only week 40 and I knew that it was hard to predict anything with a first time mom (all pregnancies are different, as I've heard, so it's hard to predict anything when it comes to labor) but I was ready to start this process. In the back of my mind I was worried, worried about keeping Brent away from work, worried about planning the arrival of family and friends, worried about whatever I could worry about. I expressed my concerns to my midwife, Sharon, and she helped me get back into perspective and keep my focus on the baby. Honestly, it's just hard for me to sit and wait for things to start. I'm usually not very good at waiting, which I know comes as a shock to most of you :) At times it was a real test of my patience to be there, I often wondered if I would have been better off birthing at home. My midwife said it was better for me to be on The Farm in case anything happened as she would remind me of stories about women who had to give birth without their midwives present. Still, I didn't like just "hanging out" and waiting for my life to change.

Brent and I ventured off The Farm and found ourselves, multiple times, at a nearby state park.
The park had nice walking trails and a great restaurant. Brent cooked a lot of dinners for us but it was nice to go to out to eat too. We were trying to listen to our midwife and do the things she said would induce labor. Lots of walking was one of those things, and since it was August in the middle of Tennessee that meant lots of heat and humidity. We had to walk in the early morning and/or late evening. Brent was a real trooper and without him I know I wouldn't
have walked as much as we did. With each walk I hoped labor would start.

I don't remember when I actually felt a contraction but it was sometime in the middle of week 40. There were times when I wasn't sure if I was feeling a contraction but I knew something was happening. I was having weekly check ups with my midwife and she felt confident that baby was in the correct position, I was 3cm dilated at this point and hopeful that labor would start soon. Sharon and Ina May, another midwife on The Farm, recommended that I see an acupuncturist to help induce labor if no progress was made. Well, I didn't wait for progress, I went and made the appointment. Our first appointment was Friday, which was the end of week 40. We met with the chiropractor/acupuncturist and he was confident that he could help induce labor. This guy was great, very down to earth and pleasant to be around. Our first session was about 40 minutes and he said that if nothing happened over the weekend then I should come back on Monday. That night I began to feel consistent contractions, we measured them at 7 minutes apart. Brent and I were thrilled that this could be the time and so we updated our midwife and she sent us out walking. We walked for about an hour and contractions were still coming at 7 minutes. Sharon suggested we get some rest and sleep as much as possible during the night. I think she expected me to wake up during the night and be in active labor, but that didn't happen. I woke up during the night wondering what had happened, why had my labor stopped?
Sharon said this was normal, she checked me and I was still on 3cm. A little frustrated I decided that some progress was better than none and hopeful that something would start up again soon.

Well, nothing happened over the course of the weekend so we went back to the acupuncturist on Monday. He was surprised that nothing had happened but certain another session would do the trick. The same thing happened Monday night, consistent contractions but they dissipated during the night. Another let down for me and more frustration. I had family calling and wanting to know what they should expect, I knew people were frustrated because they didn't understand why this was taking so long. Everyone had suggestions for what I should do and that made me more anxious. My midwife continued to reassure me that I was fine and baby was fine and this up and down rollercoaster was normal. I knew my mental and emotional strength could affect my labor and I was trying to keep positive. Brent was being very supportive but I was worried that he was gone from work to long. He spent many hours on the phone and computer trying to keep up with his job. Thanks to his understanding female boss he was allowed to take the time we needed for this baby.

So, we kept doing the things that Sharon and all the midwives recommended. We went back to the acupuncturist for a third treatment on Wednesday and he said third time was a charm. I didn't know what to believe but I figured it was better then being stuck in a hospital on pitocin. Nothing happened after the third acupuncture treatment so I went to my midwife and told her something else needed to be done. She suggest that we call the OB doctor and get a "bio-physical", an ultrasound. I had not had a single ultrasound done during my pregnancy per my preference and the suggestion of my midwife but I was ready for one now. So we made an appointment for the following day.

As much as I dislike hospitals I was excited to get some answers. I was nervous as well but Sharon said she expected everything to be normal and that we would come back to The Farm and have our baby there. Well, everything was not normal. Sharon was holding my left hand and Brent was standing at my feet. As soon as the pictures came up on the screen the tech got still, Sharon asked "the baby's in head down position right?" The tech just looked up and shook her head ever so softly, NO! Our mouths dropped open and it was like somebody had sucked all the oxygen out of the room. My one fear, my ONE fear was having a c-section. My mind started to race and I tried to fight the tears. How could this happen? My midwife had said that my baby was in head down position at every check up, what went wrong? The tech continued with the ultrasound and everything else was fine with the baby, all fluid levels and vitals were good. The tech finished and said she would give the results to the doctor. As soon as she left the room I lost it, I just had to let it out. I was a ball of emotion and Brent tried to console me but I said "let me just get it out". I quickly gathered myself and decided that I was glad we had some answers and that overall the baby was healthy.

The call came from the doctor after she'd received the report. I had only seen this OB one time before, as was required by the midwives in case she would be needed, but I didn't particularly care for her. I wasn't sure how she was going to act, I expected her to send me straight to the hospital to be admitted for a c-section. But she didn't do that! She was very pleasant and understanding, she knew that I was trying to have a natural birth and that I wanted minimal intervention. She said I could go home, think about what I wanted to do and either have a section the next day or the following Monday. I was so taken aback by her calm approach to the situation that I didn't know what to say. OB's are not usually this calm when a breech baby is around but this showed me that she was understanding of our situation and our feelings. She also informed me that the ultrasound showed a small "mass" on my uterus and that could be the reason for my labor not progressing. Then my mind started to think that maybe there was another reason I was in this situation.

As we left the hospital we were relieved but confused, relieved because we had some answers but confused as to how this happened. Sharon tried to figure out what she missed. I didn't want to focus on that, I just wanted to figure out where to go from here. So, after talking about it on the car ride home we decided that we would do what we could to manually turn the baby but if nothing worked that we would go back to the hospital on Saturday for a c-section. We informed the OB of our plan and she was in agreement.

That next day, Friday, we went back to the acupuncturist for a treatment. He had a treatment for helping breech babies to turn that he said was 80% effective (although that only applied to pregnancy long before they reach it they reach the 42 week mark). The treatment took about an hour and I left feeling great! As soon as we got back to The Farm we talked to Sharon and she said Ina May wanted to try to turn the baby manually. At first I thought that would be fine, I knew Ina May had lots of experience with these situations but I changed my mind after Sharon informed me of the risks. She said there was a risk that the umbilical cord could wrap around the babies neck and we wouldn't know it until it was to late, as this had happened on The Farm one time before. I immediately said NO manipulation, I couldn't risk losing my baby now! I trusted the midwives but I also trusted my instincts. Instead, I tried different positions to help the baby move and my midwife started me on homeopathic meds. We were all sitting around in the cabin, Ina May, Carol, Sharon, Brent and myself. Ina May was certain she could turn the baby but I wouldn't let her, some people might call me crazy for not letting the world-renowned midwife do her thing but I just couldn't do it. All the midwives felt certain that I could deliver the baby breech if my labor would sustain. And I would have been completely comfortable delivering a breech baby but the problem was that I wasn't going into labor. We all sat there and talked and the midwives agreed that a c-section was necessary if I wanted to get this baby out. And as much as I feared a c-section I just knew it was necessary.

That night Brent and I laid awake talking about everything. We were having mixed emotions as we were thrilled to be meeting our baby soon but scared of how our plan had changed into the one thing we feared most. We did a lot of praying and as the night dragged on we were feeling very peaceful about our situation. We came to the conclusion that there was a reason that this baby wanted to come via c-section. We were in complete control about everything we had decided for this baby and there was nothing else we could do. This was one case in which a c-section was warranted and thus essential for a "healthy baby, healthy momma" outcome. So, unless I went into labor before the next morning I was having my baby at the hospital.

The next morning was relaxed as we packed our things in the car and drove to the hospital, Sharon driving her car in front of us. We made one more phone call to our families and prayed quietly has we tried to absorb what was happening. We felt an overwhelming sense of calm, a peace that was palpable to us both. The hospital staff were wonderful and very respectful of our birth plan, they had worked with this group of midwives before. Having the procedure done on a Saturday meant a slower pace for the staff so they were able to be attentive to our needs. Everything just went smooth and easy, surprisingly well. I was prepped for the procedure and received a spinal block. Because this was not an emergency c-section the physician was able to take her time and make a clean incision without cutting into my abdominal muscles. She knew I wanted to have more children and, at my request, did a double stitch to give me a better chance at having a VBAC in the future. And as soon as it began it was over, Samantha Joy was born at 9:40 AM.

Brent was right by my side and super supportive throughout the whole situation. From that moment on our lives were changed and we couldn't be more in awe of this amazing gift God has given us. So my plan didn't go exactly as desired but the end result was the same, a healthy baby girl. Brent and I still had a good pregnancy/birth experience and feel better aware of what will happen during our next pregnancy. Our next pregnancy will include having a VBAC if possible, and either in a midwifery center or at home. Pregnancy and childbirth is an amazing experience and something unique to the life of a woman. I am so thankful to God for this beautiful baby girl and I look forward to "more" healthy babies in the future!!

New Life

Its a new life . . . in a myriad of ways. Lots of new beginnings are starting to unfold.



As of right now I'm 38 1/2 weeks pregnant! In less then two weeks (hopefully) we will meet baby Powers! It's still so surreal. It seems like yesterday when Brent and I made the announcement that we were expecting.

The feeling of a new being growing inside me is a constant reminder of God's faithfulness to bring us life. We are so excited to meet Baby Powers, as is the rest of the family!

I have also started my new life as a "stay-at-home-mom" (SAHM). This is something I am looking forward to but with honest angst. My last day of work, as a nurse, was last Friday. I've been working full time as a nurse for the past ten years so I'm a little clumsy at establishing a new routine. However, I think the timing is perfect. I could feel myself losing interest/faith in my job and needing a break. I suppose this could be attributed to my evolving view of what health and healthcare are. I have been passionate about alternative health care for a few years now, which is the primary reason we chose to use a midwife for all of our pregnancy and birthing needs. Using a midwife has been so wonderful and I am so thankful that we are able to do so.

Using a midwife is not something that is to common these days but is gaining in popularity. However, my path to midwifery was unintentional. When I imagined being pregnant I never imagined using a midwife. I had a friend of mine introduce me to a book a couple years ago written by a midwife from Tennessee, Ina May Gaskin. I read this book with my jaw on the ground; it painted a completely different picture of pregnancy and labor. It was a picture of strength, joy, womanhood, connection, and spirituality. Of course I was excited about this find and thought that if I was to ever get pregnant I would love to have my pregnancy handled by these midwives, especially since they were so close to our home in TN. Well, you know the rest of the story. And I don't think it was a coincidence that I happened to be working in TN when we got pregnant!

So here we are, less then two weeks from meeting our miracle. This weekend I will check into the midwifery center and start my final decent into labor. The midwives prefer that you check in about one week before your due date so as to prepare, and that means preparing mentally, emotionally, and physically. I was a little apprehensive about this at first but now I am looking forward to it. It will give me time to really focus on what is about to take place and to become familiar with my temporary home. When your in a place that's peaceful and surrounded by the atmosphere that birthing is natural it's amazing what physically happens to your body. Every time I've been to the The Farm Midwifery Center I feel a sense of peace and strength. I really feel so blessed to be having this experience. I'm looking forward to it more and more each day.

And when Baby Powers arrives I will finally get to start my new life in North Carolina and be with my husband again. I can imagine that sounds a little strange but to those that know our situation you know that these past nine months have been a long time comin! It was not ideal to be away from Brent during this pregnancy but, in the words of my husband, "it is what it is". We are simply doing what we feel led to do and its all working out perfectly. Which is the sure sign of God's hand on our lives, and thus the reassurance we needed to get through these past nine months.

Brent has been so great during this time. He's so excited about the baby and it's so fun to see him fully embracing this experience. He is willing to do whatever necessary to make this the best experience he can. He's actually reading books I've given him and watched some videos. He loves talking with the midwife and she loves talking to him! I can't wait to see him holding his new baby child in his arms , I know it'll be one of those life moments that we'll never forget.

I really feel so blessed, I know I keep saying that but I really do. I am so thankful to be having this experience, and to be having it in a way that's so much better then I ever thought possible with a man I couldn't love more. I don't know how to put into words all that I feel but I just know that I'm thankful and really excited about this new life!

New Sunrises

So, it's been another drive-800-miles-round-trip-weekend! I just got back from my second trip to NC, only this time was spent setting up our new place of residence. Brent found this great property for rent and I'm so excited to move there permanently once the baby arrives. Of course we are renting for now and once our house in IL sells we can start looking for something more permanent in NC. However, this house is a nice clean country property with plenty of room for all our critters (no need to pay for boarding Captain . . . . YEAH).

So, my goal this weekend was to start making that house a home. It seems like we've been on the move constantly since we got married and I still have stuff in boxes that I haven't seen in over 3.5 years! I had made the assumption ("make and teach no assumptions") that I would get married and immediately have a "home" of my own but that has not been the case. Our first few months of marriage we're spent in Albany, NY. Brent was working for FEMA and having a great time but I couldn't take the cramped city life and so I moved back to TN. Yes, I left my husband in Albany with the plan that he would find a job in TN and we could start our "home" there! However, that's not what the good Lord had planned (ever heard that sayin . . . tell God your plans and he'll turn your whole life upside down?) Brent found a job as an Advertising Director with a family owned newspaper company in Jacksonville, IL. So, off we went to little ol J'ville. I was excited to buy a house and start remodeling and making it a "home"! Well, I learned shortly after demo that we had gotten into a whole lotta something that even HGTV couldn't fix (trust me, I looked at ways to get them there). The remodeling experience was a true test on our marriage and we learned alot about each other VERY quickly. So, on top of having new jobs (mine of which I hated and had a really hard time adjusting to), no friends/family close by, another mortgage payment and a remodeling fiasco I was not happy with our "home". I wanted a home, not every room under construction with a constant mess in it. It was a true test of character and very hard to see colors of myself that I didn't like. I learned I was not good at doing "change", even though I thought of myself as adventurous and never one to shy away from new experiences. I learned what my definition of a "home" was and what my husbands definition was (guess what? they were not the same). And neither was our spousal role definitions :) Needless to say we both learned alot about ourselves and thank the good Lord for helping us make it through those trying times.

So, here we are now. Three and a half years into our marriage and we're moving to another state and another home. Only this time I'm way more relaxed! I'm not over obsessing about the house being a certain way or having everything in it's place. For the first time I really feel just HAPPY to be starting anew with my husband and our new baby! I'm learning that it's much easier to just go with the flow then to worry about every detail. Of course, I do worry about some things but not to the scale that I used to. I know that God is guiding our every step and although we fall down every now and then He picks us up and gets us back on track. I feel "on track" and that feels really good. It's amazing to see how God brings this around full circle. Actually, it's even more amazing when you realize that the circle could have been smaller if you had gotten rid of your "plan" and your definitions of what a "home", "husband", and "happy life" are!

I'm sure this won't be the last time I have to learn to relax and trust God; hello, we're having our first baby . . . can you say more life lessons soon to come? However, I know that I'll survive and come out stronger on the other side thanks to my wonderful husband and supportive family.

I'm looking forward to sharing the new sunrises with Brent (he emails one to me almost every morning) and our baby!

First Mothers Day!

So this past Mothers Day was my first and my husband made sure I would remember it ;) For those that know anything about me you know I love horses, and natural horsemanship. Mothers Day weekend was going to be my first time to visit Brent in Charlotte, NC (where I'll be moving after the baby arrives) and he had purchased tickets to Cavalia. Cavalia is a magical event that encompasses the beauty of horses, horsemanship skill, acrobatics, imagery, live music, and dance. Its an event I never thought I would see and I was super excited when Brent told me had purchased tickets. Our tickets included premier seating with open bar and h'ordeureves before and during intermission of the show. After the show we got to tour the stables and be up close and personal with all the beautiful horses. I can't even describe how amazing the show is. It's unlike anything you've ever seen or experienced. Even if you don't know much about horses you can appreciate the beauty of this skillful show. And if you do know alot about horses you'll be blown away at the relationship of horse and human and the intimacy of their communication. It was four hours of complete horse bliss and it was so wonderful to experience it with Brent. For all horse lovers out there, if you get a chance to experience Cavalia . . take it. (http://www.cavalia.net/)

Momma/Baby Yoga!

So tonight was a first for me, I went to my first prenatal yoga class. It was GREAT! First off, it was just fun to be around other pregnant woman. Secondly, the exercises felt great to my body and I felt like a strong pregnant woman. One of my goals during this pregnancy is to feel strong as my body changes. . . . instead of like a giant grapefruit which is sometimes how I actually feel.
I knew yoga was difficult but also knew it was great for my body in helping to stretch and invigorate my muscles. I think this is just what I needed to help prepare me for labor. Having never given birth I think about labor almost daily. Of course I've read books and even gone on youtube to watch different birthing videos (and you can see a lot on youtube). And it's been wonderful to see brave woman going against the grain and giving birth naturally.

We have chosen to use a midwife and give birth at a midwifery center. When you mention this the response by most woman, as they look at you with one eye half cocked . . . "your crazy!" Another popular one is "well, good luck . . why would you want to feel all that pain?"
My response to them is to say "it's just what we've decided to do." Because the reality is that most woman don't want to know why, they are convinced (as they grew up in American culture) that there is only one way to give birth and that's in a hospital with an epidural. Now I'm not knockin any woman who wants to do so but if I gave them my honest response it would sound more like this: I don't want to give birth in a hospital for the following reasons: I want to be free to move around as I please without an IV pole or monitor attached to me, I don't want nurses/doctors coming in and taking over my labor but rather be allowed to labor as long as it takes, I don't want to be pressured by pretentious medical staff to deliver by a certain time, I don't want drugs or any other "stuff" that they tell me is normal and safe, I want to be able to be outside in fresh air and labor in different areas and positions, I want my husband and I to be in a quiet, calm, environment with a king size bed where we can be close, I want to sit in a birthing tub where I can soak and sip on water and eat a bit of food, I want to know that the people around me believe in my ability to birth a child and support me with encouraging words and positive energy, I want to embrace every part of the birthing experience and be guided by woman/midwives who have been doing it for decades with more positive results than any hospital, and after the baby arrives I want to hold it to me immediately and not have it taken away by a stranger, I want to breastfeed it right away and when the placenta is done giving it all its nutrients then will the cord be cut!

Now, you may be able to find all that in a hospital but the chances are slim to none. And it would take me fighting tooth and nail against every last nurse and physician who thought I was nuts for doing it that way. So, that's why I decided to go with a world famous midwifery center here in TN. One who will allow me to be in control of my birthing experience and guide me along the way. I am so excited about this process that it makes me shake just thinking about it. Of course I'm nervous too, there's alot of unknowns here. But I am confident in my midwife and her experience. If she feels that the baby and or I may be in danger then we have arrangements at the local hospital. The hospital is very familiar with the midwives and the setting is one of mutual respect and understanding. The ObGYNs at this hospital group (of which all are female) will be aware of my due date and familiar with my situation so that they can be prepared if they are needed.

It's really the best of both worlds. I am in complete control of my pregnancy and delivery. I am looked upon as a powerful, strong, capable woman whose God given ability is embraced instead of hindered. I'm sure it'll be painful and uncomfortable and just plain hard, but that has never stopped me before. And with the motivation to see the life that has been growing inside of me for nine months, I know I can deliver this baby naturally.

The icing on the cake tonight (mmmm . . .cake) was that my wonderful yoga instructor also used the same midwifery center and thinks it's great that we are using a midwife. When you find people who say "that's great", instead of "your crazy", you know that your not alone. And you get more positive energy to draw upon as you get stronger and prepare for labor. Being pregnant is a wonderful experience and I look forward to sharing this experience with all those who are interested.

and the blog begins . . .

So I swore to myself I would never be a "blogger" but here I am! I figured I had enough distractions in my life so why did I need to start blogging. However, now that I am pregnant my perspective has changed :) More than anything I want this blog to catalog the experiences I can share with my friends/family and eventually my children. When I learned you could create your blog into a book I was hooked. I used to scrapebook all the time but find I have less time for that, this blog would essentially replace my scrapebook that would be passed down to my kids.

So, here goes . . the story begins!